Earth 1: Doctor Yale's Traveling Medicine Show

Doc Yale was in the rear compartment of the Monte Carlo, occasionally giving orders to the driver through the fancy car's speaking tube, but more often dividing his attention between the two beautiful women sharing the compartment.

"Tonight's oration was inspired, Harv, honey!" cooed lovely Holly Barnard, to his left, her head on his shoulder, both arms wrapped possessively around his own left arm. Or, wait! Was that her sister Bryn? Sometimes after a long day he got them confused... Well, as long as they were equally attentive, it didn't really matter. "You've never used that story about running out of berries before. Where'd that come from?"


"Sales have been going down for months, now," he replied seriously. "With the troubles in Europe and the Great Depression here at home, our crowds have been getting thinner and sparser, and money's tighter and tighter. Yesterday it dawned on me that I could use the travel troubles caused by the war as part of the pitch."

"We're not REALLY outta the stuff, are we?" Bryn (or was it Holly) frowned prettily. "We ain't gonna be out of business, are we?" Holly and Bryn had only been with the show for a month and were still learning all the angles.

"Pay attention to your grammar! You're not some gangster's moll any more!" he scolded her with a frown, then shook his head in amusement. "No, my dear, I haven't used Tartarian honeysuckle for years in any of my miracle medicines, and they all work as well without it. We use fermented berries of native honeysuckle to provide the distinctive taste, but the medicinal effects are produced by my own secret blend of amphetamines and alcohol which I mix myself, a blend I discovered during my stint as a medic in the trenches during the Big One, and exquisitely refined over the many years since then."

The car was going around a curve, and he was being pressed nicely against Holly's pneumatic body, when he was interrupted by a loud whistle from the driver compartment and suddenly the three passengers crashed against the front of the compartment as the driver jammed on the breaks. The tires squealed and the car skidded from side to side as the driver fought to maintain control. They were almost stopped when they crashed into something with a loud smashing noise and the squeal of crumpling metal, but this damage didn't reach back into their compartment.

"What the bloody hell was THAT?!" Yale screamed as he climbed back onto his seat and opened the door.

"Avalanche blocked the road, boss," the driver replied through the speaking tube. But nobody was listening by then; they were all scrambling out of both sides of the car.

The road ahead of them was blocked with a jumble of mud and boulders; they'd smashed into one of them. The front right fender was damaged, otherwise the rest of the car appeared to be untouched. Prominent among the boulders, Yale could see the ruins of what must have once been a log cabin, swept down the mountainside by the avalanche. For the moment, there was silence - which was instantly broken by the piercing screams of a man in agony. Yale quickly moved to the source of the screams, a man partially crushed by a boulder. One arm was wrapped tightly to his chest, obscuring something bulky, the other bent at an impossible angle inches below the elbow. Instantly, the battlefield medic he had been years before took command. He realized that this man was fatally injured and wouldn't survive much longer - but he wouldn't let a man die in agony if he could help it - and he could! He took a quick look around; Bryn was kneeling on the ground, retching at the sight of the terrible injuries this man had suffered, and Holly was screaming in terror, but he needed instant assistance.

"Holly! Get my bag from the car - NOW!" His stern, commanding tone got through to her; she ran back to the car and pulled out his medical bag, than ran back. "I'm going to need you to hold his head steady," he ordered her sternly as he pulled out a bottle Doc Yale's Miracle Syrup^TM and twisted off the cap. "NOW!"

She gently held his head in both hands as he poured a dollop of brown syrup into his mouth. He gasped for a minute and then returned to screaming. Meanwhile, Yale poured liberal amounts of syrup onto the wound around the broken bone sticking out of the man's forearm, a gash on his forehead, and a gaping wound in his chest. It didn't take long before the numbing affects of the special, not-for-sale ingredient in Doc's personal nostrum lessened the man's pain; the screaming stopped. He tried to speak, but his abused throat could produce only a whisper. Doc Yale bent closer to hear.

"I reckon... I know... when I'm done for.... sonny... but thanks for letting an old man... die in peace," he gasped out, gulping and panting after every word. "Figger I owe ya one. And Hubert... the Hermit... is one what always... pays his debts... the Book of Answers... it's yours..." His good arm move jerkily to his side, revealing he'd been holding a book, then his eyes closed and his breathing stopped. For the rest of his life, Doc Yale swore that the old man, Hubert, had briefly touched Doc's soul as his own departed on his short journey to the afterlife.

Doc Yale was as stunned and dazed by the old man's death as he had ever been on the battlefield. Some things never changed; the emotional distress and turmoil of death close up was one of those things. He reverently picked up the book that old man had been clasping close, and glanced at the cover - and was more stunned when the book's title writhed as if alive, and changed while he was watching it... from Hubert's Book of Answers to Doc Yale's Book of Answers!


Holly and Bryn had both run back to the car as soon as Doc had turned away from them, not wanting to be close to a screaming man dying in agony any longer than he forced them too. And Jenkins, the chauffeur, was still puttering around with the damaged fender, so none of them saw Hubert give Doc Yale the Book of Answers. He was totally bemused by the title writhing and then changing to show his name - he wasn't sure if he had believed in magic before or not, but he'd never expected to actually see magic working! He slipped the Book into his medical bag along with the partially empty bottle of Miracle Syrup and returned to the car. Jenkins had the crumpled fender in one hand and his tool kit in the other.

"It's OK to drive, Boss, but the front end will probably need to be aligned, and of course, we'll need a new fender." He tossed the damaged one in the ditch.

"Bring that with us," Yale ordered sharply. "No way we'll ever get a factory replacement, they don't make 'em anymore! Hopefully we can find a smith who can straighten that one out for us." Jenkins looked doubtful, but he wasn't being paid for advice. "Are you sure everything will hold together until we get to Destan?" Doc continued. Destan was about 50 miles from Nekova, about halfway to their next site, and on the mountain roads it would probably take most of the day to get there. But he wanted to get away from here before the authorities arrived and discovered the dead body. Not because he was linked to the death in any way, but just on general principles...

Jenkins nodded. "Sure enough. We could drive all the way to Chicago if we needed to. If we stay on these back roads, though, the side of the car will get pretty muddy and it might wreck the paint job." He looked troubled. "That guy's dead, ain't he?" Yale nodded in acknowledgement. "Well, it wouldn't be right to just leave without burying him."

"We've got no tools!" Yale protested.

"Lotta rocks around," Jenkins swept his hand around the rocky debris partially blocking the road. "And if'n we move some of them outta the road, we can keep going and still get to Destan before dark, 'stead'a goin' back to Nekova. I know ya don't never wanna go back to no place we already ever stopped."

That was rather compelling to Doc Yale, and if he were honest with himself, he realized he would have felt bad about just leaving Hubert out in the elements. He'd occasionally had to leave dead men behind on the battlefield and learned to suppress pangs of guilt, but they had never completely gone away. "OK, but I want to be done quickly. I'll get Holly and Bryn to help us."

Both beauties protested, but Yale threatened to leave them behind, so they pitched in. It was mid-morning before they were done, but no one else had come along this isolated mountain road during that time. Finally, Jenkins made a makeshift cross from some branches and some shoelaces and stuck it into one end of their makeshift tomb. They were all very muddy when they were finished, but during their travels, they were often forced to spend nights on the road in places that were less than reputable, and the big trunk on the bumper had a fair supply of towels and washcloths as well as several changes of clothes for all 4, so they cleaned up as best they could and continued on their way.

As they were passing through a small town in the valley on the other side of the mountain, Jenkins pulled to a stop outside the sheriff's office. "I'm gonna tell 'em the road's blocked back aways we came," he told Yale, not giving him a chance to argue. "That way somebody will find the guy's body and he'll get a decent burial." Doc nodded, a bit relieved - he'd been thinking the same thing, kinda, but he really felt strongly about avoiding the law... He was relieved when Jenkins came back and headed out on their way; he'd been worried that the sheriff might insist on them showing him the spot.

Doc was unusually quiet the whole drive, no matter how much the women tried to 'cheer him up'. When they arrived at the 'hotel' in Destan at around 7 (several dingy rooms above the saloon), they booked their usual 3 rooms. Doc then impatiently shooed Holly from his room, insisting that he was exhausted and disturbed by the death of the total stranger, and wanted to be alone and she should go share Bryn's room for the night. Holly sulked away, and he knew tomorrow's drive would be difficult at best, but he wanted to be alone so he could check out the Book of Answers.

***

When he heard the door in the room across the hall slam shut, and Holly and Bryn started bickering, he pushed the desk chair under the doorknob, sat down on the side of the bed, and pulled out the book. He stared at it uneasily for several seconds, then shook his head and flipped it open to the middle - and shook his head in disbelief.

"All the <blankety-blank blanking> pages are BLANK!" he cursed mentally. He snarled under his breath, "So what good is a Book of blank pages? How am I supposed to <blankety-blank> use this <blankety-blanked> thing?"

He was stunned when the pages started flipping by themselves, ending on a pair of blank pages. Almost too fast to see, tiny text started filling the page, and in less than half a second, both the page he was swearing at and the facing page were covered. There was a title atop the left hand page that read "How to use the Book of Answers". He put on his reading glasses and leaned closer and read for a few paragraphs, then snorted in disgust.

"Idiotic!!! It uses a thousand words to say Ask the Book a <blanking> question!" he interpreted mentally. "How do I get the answers I want if I have to read for <blankety-blanking> hours every time I ask?"

He jerked back in startlement as the pages started flipping again. This time when they stopped, the pages weren't totally blank, they were already filling in with text. The title this time was "How to ask The Book of Answers a Question". Once again he swore; both pages were filled with tiny text again.

"The text is too <blanking> small! How am I supposed to read it?" He almost dropped the book as the text suddenly grew in size until he could read it easily, even without his glasses. "That's better!" he said, somewhat mollified. "Maybe you're not so useless after all!" He started reading again, quickly decided he would just figure it out on his own instead of reading and interpreting the dense text.

"How can I get rich?" The pages flipped, and he started reading again. This time, the text started with a summary, which included: "Inherit riches", "Earn riches", "Finding Riches" "Stealing or Swindling Riches" and several other categories. "Dag nab it, that's not what I mean!" He was livid with anger!! "Where can I find a million dollars?"

The pages flipped again, and when they stopped, he dived in eagerly. What he saw was a map of Destan and it was covered with a lot of small x marks, and next to each x was a dollar figure. Some of the marks were bigger than the others; the biggest one in Destan was the bank, with just over a thousand dollars, and the next biggest was on Doc's car - he knew there was about $500 concealed inside the door of the passenger compartment. He was stunned to see that Holly and Bryn each had about $50, and Jenkins $75. Jenkins made sense, he paid for everything - but what were 'his girls' doing with so much money? And where had they gotten it?

The x that indicated himself showed only $20 which was accurate; he was uneasy carrying even that large a sum of money. Occasionally he ran into former customers, some of whom inexplicably viewed him with disfavor and felt that he should refund their purchase amounts - and whatever else he had on him at the time!

So far the so-called 'Book of Answers' had been useless! He gritted his teeth and tried again. "Show me any lost money in Destan!"

It wouldn't be much, he was sure, but maybe he could pick up a few bucks... and the pages flipped again, and came to a page that showed in big letters "Answer Unknown!" Yale shouted his anger and tried to rip the Book apart, but though he was a pretty strong guy, he was unable to tear even an single page. In a rage, he threw the Book against the wall and stomped out of his room and down the stairs into the saloon, where he ordered a double shot of whiskey, straight up. Just as he threw it back, he had an inspiration and raced back to his room and picked up the Book of Answers.

"Show me the 4 people in Milltown with the most money!" he commanded. Milltown was the next stop for Doc Yale's Traveling Medicine Show. He almost asked for the 'richest' people but he doubted if there were any people in this region who could be considered 'rich'. The pages flipped as expected, and stopped on a map of Milltown, with 4 places marked, and the names of the 4 people the Book had selected. Yale recorded these, then, "Show me 4 people in Milltown who have great pain when they try to walk!" He considered it good news that there were 2 people on both lists! He would contact his agents and suggest that they do their best to get as many as possible of these folks to the show in Milltown. They would have to postpone tomorrow's show by a day to give his agents time to do their jobs - but their schedule was nothing if not fluid!

Finally, satisfied that he had conquered the Book of Answers, he knocked on the door across the hall and offered his abject apologies to his two traveling partners.
The next day, shortly before they arrived at the staging area outside of Milltown, WV, Doc suddenly screamed in pain, terrifying Bryn and Holly. Not just pain, absolute AGONY! He had been plagued by gout for more than 20 years; he'd returned from The Great War with it. If he'd had to put up with it every day, he would have gone insane years ago, but fortunately if he was careful about his diet, it mostly seemed to be under control. But it seemed to feel the need to remind him every once and a while...

Jenkins was startled, but he'd seen it before, and quickly pulled off the side of the road. While the car was still moving, Doc clamped his lips to keep from screaming and pulled out a bottle of Doc Yale's Mystery Syrup from his medical bag (which had an ingredient not available in the 'for sale' variety of the Syrup) and took a long pull. They he was very careful not to move for several minutes which seemed like weeks, while he haltingly explained to the two women. As soon as the pain began to diminish, he carefully removed his shoe and sock, and finally the pain became barely bearable... not gone, but it felt like it was miles away rather than RIGHT HERE! He felt almost normal, for a while, at least, but he knew that when the pain relieving effects of his syrup would wear off the agony would return full force and last for several days, and he also knew that heavy use of the Special Secret Mystery Syrup wouldn't be a good thing... and then he had an idea!

As soon as they arrived, he shooed Bryn and Holly from the car and pulled out the Book of Answers from his medicine bag. "A cure for gout pain!" he practically shouted in his head. Over the next 15 minutes, Doc learned a bit more about what he could do with the Book of Answers, as he used it to find a magical spell that would temporarily abate his gout pain (for the details, click the 'Spoiler' link, below).


"So... back to work!" he thought sardonically, and got out of the car and joined his crew in making preparations for tomorrow evening's show in nearby Milltown.

The abandoned Padgett farm was a desolate sight, located 20 miles west of Milltown. As they approached, the group noticed two large tractor trailers parked on the property between the decaying barn and farmhouse. Busy figures could be seen moving around, setting up for some kind of event or show. As they drew closer, a vibrant billboard was being attached to the side of one of the trailers, boldly proclaiming "Doc Yale's Traveling Medicine Show".

Rocky couldn't believe it. "I thought those things were extinct!" she exclaimed. "Who still falls for that snake oil stuff?"

Tex interjected before Jade could respond with a sarcastic remark. "Times are tough, Rocky...there are still many people who can't afford proper medical care. So when a smooth-talking huckster convinces them that a $1 bottle of magical potion will cure all their ailments, it's an easy sale."

Rocky sounded doubtful as she replied, "I guess some folks will buy anything..."

"True - why, you'll pay a buck to watch pro wrestling," Jade mocked her partner. The way the two looked at each other, it seemed like a real wrestling match was about to start in the car!

But Tex quickly redirected their focus. "Let's split up and search the area," she instructed. "Rocky, you take the barn and look for any signs of recent activity by the Microwave Man or any clues that may link him to Padgett. Jade, see if anyone here has seen either Padgett or the Microwave Man. I've got the house."

As the car rolled up the rutted dirt driveway, the three women intently scrutinized the abandoned property while being watched suspiciously by the members of the traveling caravan. The once grand house now sported boarded-up windows and peeling paint. The surrounding land was overgrown and neglected, with even the stone fences crumbling. The only structure that seemed to have survived relatively unscathed was the old barn.

After Tex pulled into the driveway, they all got out of the car with utility belts strapped on and carrying cases a bit larger than lunch pails. She headed towards the house, Rocky hurried toward the barn, and Jade leaned casually against the car's hood. The sight of three women driving together without male escorts was enough to pique anyone's curiosity, and the caravan members were understandably cautious about unexpected visitors.

Deciding to take charge, Jade addressed the approaching men with confidence. "Good afternoon, gentlemen. Have any of you seen a flying man around here recently?"

They stopped in their tracks and scoffed at her. "A flying man?! You think we're crazy, lady? What do you want anyways? This is private property!"

Jade stood her ground and retorted, "It may have been private 20 years ago when the owners were alive, but it has been abandoned since then. We are private investigators searching for the son of the owners and thought we might find some clues here."

The men laughed at her suggestion. "A bunch of female detectives looking for a flying man? You must think we're fools! You're probably narcs working for the Feds!" one of them jeered. "Let's toss 'em outta here, fellas!"

Realizing that they weren't going to get anywhere with reasoning, Jade responded with a hint of frustration, "I guess if our job was easy, even knuckleheads like you could do it!" She let out a sigh, knowing this confrontation was inevitable. "But fine, if that's how you want to play it. Do you really think you can handle us?"

The leader of the group sneered and barked orders at his men: "Alright boys, let's show these bimbos we don't take crap like that from anyone!" A group of men started to advance towards each of the women.

Tex simply sighed while Rocky couldn't contain her excitement. The tension in the air was palpable as the two parties prepared for battle.

Jade

"Stop where you are or someone's gonna get hurt!" Jade commanded the men approaching her, as she took a step back to give herself a bit of room. "One more step and you'll regret it!"

The men continued to taunt and ignore her warning as she confidently swung her walking stick, a wooden rod with a brass dolphin ornament on the head end. One of the men was hit in the cheekbone with a wicked backhand, causing him to collapse on the ground. The other two men quickly realized she wasn't joking and split up.

Now that they were aware of her weapon, she adjusted her grip on the stick and began using it to jab and stab at them, keeping them at a distance. She even managed to stab one of them in the stomach, causing him to scream in pain. However, her stick snagged on his shirt and another man took advantage of this momentary distraction by locking both of her arms behind her back. Still conscious and defiant, she took a roundhouse punch to the jaw before collapsing to the ground. The men then continued to hold her down and mock her for being such a "wildcat."

Rocky

Four men closed on Rocky, who stood her ground, her fists clenched and raised in a defensive stance as they circled her like hungry sharks.

"You won't hit a woman?" Rocky asked the four men who surrounded her, a quaver in her voice.

The leader sneered, “Won't even need to with a shrimp...” But before he could finish his sentence, Rocky darted forward with lightning speed and landed a powerful uppercut to his jaw. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

The remaining three men hesitated, unsure of how to handle this fierce opponent. They tried to grapple with her, but she was too strong and used every dirty trick in the book to keep them at bay. Their longer reaches gave them an advantage, but she kept backing away until she stumbled into one of the nearby trailers. With a roar, Rocky charged forward and slammed into one of the men, using her impressive strength to push him back. She continued to pummel him until he fell to the ground, then stepped on him as he tried to get up. But in her blinded rage, she didn't see the other two men coming at her from behind.

They tackled her to the ground, their punches raining down on her back. But Rocky refused to give up and fought back with all her might, determined to take down as many of them as possible before they finally overpowered her.

Tex

Tex's body was a well-trained machine, honed by years of studying and mastering various martial arts. She could strike with precision and force, knowing exactly where to aim on the human body for maximum impact. As she battled against multiple attackers, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest and sweat trickling down her back.

As she was engaged with two man in front of her, another suddenly rushed up behind her and threw a burlap bag over her head, obscuring her vision. Tex was quickly tackled to the ground, her arms and legs pinned beneath the weight of several men. She struggled and fought back, but it was no use. The men had overwhelmed her. Despite their victory, the attackers were not unscathed. Tex had managed to land some powerful blows, leaving several men unconscious or writhing in pain.

But now all three women were subdued and captive on the ground. Jenkins sent two of his men to retrieve rope to bind them with, ensuring that they would not be able to escape again.

Doc Yale

Earlier, Doc Yale had secluded himself in his mobile office within one of the trailers, so he was not aware of the arrival of the women. He held the Book of Answers in one hand and the same raw amethyst crystal in the other, reciting the spell to alleviate his gout pain. He was on his third attempt with the same crystal, which had gradually darkened in color, and this time it was taking longer than before. The concentration required for the crystal was greater, and he could sense a mental resistance as he chanted.

Suddenly, the noise from outside broke through his focus and he became aware of loud yelling that had been going on for minutes. He stopped chanting mid-syllable and immediately regretted it, realizing that interrupting a spell caster mid-spell is never a good idea. His pain flared up so intensely for a brief moment that he screamed, before fading to a barely tolerable level. He didn't have time to start over with another crystal; he needed to find out what was happening in HIS caravan.

Despite his pain, he stood up and hobbled to unlock the door before making his way to the back gate where he found half of his team lying on the ground and three unfamiliar women being restrained by the other half of the team. Confused and in pain, Doc Yale demanded an explanation but couldn't fully comprehend what Holly and Bryn were saying due to his discomfort.

After learning that these women were undercover narcs, claiming to be trying to find a 'flying man', he gave the order to bind them and confine them in a cage until they could be dealt with later. Retreating back to his office, he started over with a new crystal in hopes of finding relief for his pain.

As he sat back down and picked up the Book of Answers and a new crystal, the trailer was rocked by a tremendous explosion!!